deep throughts

i once worked for a big shot advertising agency coming up with new viral marketing schemes for young web companies. for one particular campaign i sent vials of AIDS to everyone who signed up on the company's website, simultaneously with cool emails saying "you now have AIDS. pass it on at singlesweb.com!" it was very avant-garde but for some reason the agency could not get their heads around my concepts of creative realism.

a woman should have the right to choose, since the fetus is part of the woman's body. but since the fetus is also part of its own body it should have the right to defend itself from the woman. if i were president i would implement a policy of firearms for fetuses so things can be resolved in a standoff. the woman might say, "hey fetus, you're really inconvenient to my aspirations as a unique member of human civilization. too bad your complexity isn't as life-affirming as mine." to which the fetus might reply, "see this glock, bitch? how you like me now?" john woo could direct.

there is an undiscovered technological goldmine out there in the invention-o-sphere. remote controls for remotes. think about it. never having to reach for your tv remote again. is your tv remote over there on that *other* chair on which you are not sitting? never fear, because with the remote-control-remote-control you'd never have to get up again! just press what you want your remote to do on your other remote and voila! the press of a button is achieved by the press of a button. awesome!