headlines

1. catholic pope endangers followers by making inflammatory statements, again; hopes jesus will return before vatican is firebombed.

2. world bank lends 3rd world money to help pay off it's debt to the world bank

3. omnipotent god fails to save billions of human beings from suffering from simple scourges like malnutrition and mosquito-borne viruses; religious faith remains strong

4. some shit is blown up in the middle east; politicians rush to open thesauri at "appalled"