5.5 earthquake gets response of 9 on overreaction scale

an earthquake of magnitude 5.5-6 on the richter scale shook trinidad today for a few moments prompting mass overreaction of the populace. frenzied reports of structural damage circulated through media channels as the shaken masses recounted severe "rattling of kitchen utensils" and "breaking of [flower] pots" and other minor items. the quake's duration, as monitored by one indifferent MIT graduate - expert in earthquake-hysteria-satire - was a "few fucking seconds, you [dumb] bitches", though opinions amongst the emotional masses ranged from "several minutes" to "jesus is coming, jesus is coming!" the quake itself was composed of an initial shock followed by a lull allowing for persons to make the sign of the cross followed by a longer more powerful shock that led to mass condemnation of homosexuals, independent women and doubting thomases in society. several more aftershocks were reported as thousands of semi-evolved mammalian brains failed to quell their trembling with use of higher brain abilities such as decisive rationality. "oh my god! the earthquake knocked out the phone service!" said one human as she and half the country overloaded the network trying to call the 13th person she could think of to ask if he felt it too.

what i read for fun

"Avoidance learning poses a challenge for reinforcement-based theories of instrumental conditioning, because once an aversive outcome is successfully avoided an individual may no longer experience extrinsic reinforcement for their behavior. One possible account for this is to propose that avoiding an aversive outcome is in itself a reward, and thus avoidance behavior is positively reinforced on each trial when the aversive outcome is successfully avoided. In the present study we aimed to test this possibility by determining whether avoidance of an aversive outcome recruits the same neural circuitry as that elicited by a reward itself. We scanned 16 human participants with functional MRI while they performed an instrumental choice task, in which on each trial they chose from one of two actions in order to either win money or else avoid losing money. Neural activity in a region previously implicated in encoding stimulus reward value, the medial orbitofrontal cortex, was found to increase, not only following receipt of reward, but also following successful avoidance of an aversive outcome. This neural signal may itself act as an intrinsic reward, thereby serving to reinforce actions during instrumental avoidance."

from caltech article

evil genius plan #1

it is thought that honeybees are responsible for one third of everything eaten in the US. worth about 20 billion to the agricultural sector annually. an evil genius might concoct a disease that wipes out entire bee colonies near the agricultural centres, severly disrupting the food supply. of course this is more of a subtle terrorist attack, not so much shock and awe trembling as opposed to stomach grumbling.

q.o.t.d

It is only the individual possessed of the most entire sincerity that can exist under Heaven, who can adjust the great invariable relations of mankind, establish the great fundamental virtues of humanity, and know the transforming and nurturing operations of Heaven and Earth.

(Confucius)

madamas

i was in the jungle for the weekend! that was some amazingly fun shit. a hike up in the darkness of night with only a couple flashlights. clear starry skies and cool breezes with only the freshest air. another hike through the jungle to one waterfall with an awesome blue pool. that was the nicest to bathe in but way too cold and we had to cut short our swimming around drunk because we were famished. in the night we played cards and i made the mistake of admitting my atheist views to a roomful of catholics... that conversation went on for hours and boy was i surrounded. intense opinions swirling around, no one there was prepared to counter my arguments tho...
fortunately, a night's sleep later it was time for the next hike, this time much shorter, to another much better waterfall. we could climb this one and jump off into the pool, and of course hit our asses on the bed as it was too shallow. standing underneath the falls was exhilarating to say the least. didn't see much fauna except for snakes and frogs and some maybe crayfish. back at the house we ate some wild meat (lappe) that dougla (guy that tends the house in the jungle) hunted for us. in the process of trying to cook one of the guys got the gallon bottle of gasoline too near the wood stove and it caught and the resulting conflagration would have burned the house down if i didn't hit the bottle away with our hiking sticks and the boys didn't get the bucket brigade going so quickly... once the fire was put out the laughter at the incredulity of it all began. and we passed the evening relaxing again. so lots of water, bush, fire, hiking and even some intellectual conversation up in there. all in all a GREAT weekend.

what happened to David?

captions

retelling of classic humpty dumpty tale centers around
return of liquid metal cyborg egg to wipe out all the king's men

do it yourself tool kit comes with handy do it yourself guide

tuffy and poopoo coldly premeditate photographer's murder

after whirlwind tour promoting the movie adaption of the novel,
jack's beanstalk takes a well needed vacation

taco bell chihuahua wonders whether village people
cover band was the best career move

an unconscionable use of parentheses in moral perspective

the compulsion of perhaps (an irrational) compassion for others, absolutely fueled and at once smothered, by a desire for a better world and (the realities of) the real one, leaving for us a bitter indecision... a quandary on a palate which knows (well) the taste of moral distance... unleavened. and the rage of (the primal) self, utterly and hopelessly imperative, instinctively programmed and at once (in conflict yet) intertwined with the intellect, giving energy and momentum to processes of life's (worshipped) routines... a necessity for continuity, a continuity of necessity.

headlines

1. catholic pope endangers followers by making inflammatory statements, again; hopes jesus will return before vatican is firebombed.

2. world bank lends 3rd world money to help pay off it's debt to the world bank

3. omnipotent god fails to save billions of human beings from suffering from simple scourges like malnutrition and mosquito-borne viruses; religious faith remains strong

4. some shit is blown up in the middle east; politicians rush to open thesauri at "appalled"

i love driving

mid life resolution: before i turn 30 i have to drive a 6 shift bmw 3 series sport... all the way to the 6th gear... will have to go to a country with large empty smooth roads for that.

battle rap returns

i'm iller than a terminal patient, i'll subliminally say shit, that's dang'rous, and lyrically laced with, the dopest of the criminal instinct, you're hopeless, get silenced by my license to kill with this opus, the grandest, the magnum, i'm thirsty for ransom, with wordplay so handsome shit's sung like an anthem, and then some, a lotta shots be bussin in tandem, like double barrel entendres, i'm trouble and i'm at large, i'll fuck a verbal montage t'inseminate a medley, genetic'ly degenerate, give birth to something deadly, like omen i'm no jesus, i never knew what peace is, i'll stand you tall to make you fall, like women do the penis... a showman with a thesis (of rhymes) i buss my pieces (on mics) inflicting weakness (and strife) that leave the speakers on strike, so why, try your luck 'less you like getting beat down, i don't give a fuck cuz my depth makes the beats drown...


[which rapper would best vocalize this? eminem i think.]

zealots

thus in vain be the efforts of the doomed souls,
walking down the plank searching zealously for fools gold,
the half that never was, the lies that sever us,
hand'craft of clever sons endowed with the truth told,

and so for their reasons, rhetorical, or beliefs in some oracle,
(of whom reading's like teethin kids' storybooks)
they've mixed metaphoricals, deceivingly glorious,
all of them seething with bleeding heart warriors,