headlines

a princeton sociology study has corroborated the existence of anti-knowledge culture in the hip hop industry. aptly titled "MCs act like they don't know" after the seminal KRS-One track, the report showed the results of a questionnaire that was carefully crafted to reflect the realities of urban life, of which, researchers assumed, the rapper recipients should be fully aware.

much to the authors' surprise, a mere 5% of recipients responded to the survey and of those received most entailed abstractions, obfuscations and quite often insinuations that the authors' wives and mothers were sleeping with the survey recipients.

"not a single response contained the answers we sought about life in the inner city," said study author Bob Wuthnow, "even though these rappers have, through their hip hop music, demonstrated specialized knowledge of several urban topics, from ghetto linguistics to allah's mathematics. at first, i thought that our survey had been sabotaged by a rival journal with whom we've had beef for quite some time now, but follow up calls to survey recipients confirmed nagging suspicions that most of the MCs were simply inclined to feign ignorance."