9.24.2009

headlines

a UN delegate has proposed walkout practice to make leaving in disgust a more coordinated spectacle. "timing is everything!" said the delegate to AP news, "there's always that one guy who gets up too early, when the speaker is just warming up. sometimes we have a laugh at that but honestly this is the UN not amateur hour!"

"we also suffer the opposite problem," continued the delegate, "the slow pokes among us often fail to demonstrate their revulsion in time to prevent that one inevitable iota of substance from popping into the speech. it ruins the entire exit as it dampens the outrage we feel when the speaker has unleashed his second string of revolting statements about our actions in his third world country. ideally, we should be up and walking by the time it gets to be scathing or searing criticism."

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