semi atheistic machine guns

i came as an empty slate,
unmarked and unspoiled,
but alive
i learned through mimicry,
i absorbed both the ignorance/hate,
and knowledge/love,
a thirsty soil,
SO alive!
i searched for divinity,
i embraced and cherished
beliefs through faith, then
i tore them down
through mathematics/probability,
and my heart's still heavy
so my mind digs deep
so my truths converge
as my thoughts tend infinity,

i just ask a small favour...
if you'd lend me eternity.