3.30.2008

deep throughts: dolphin discrimination

let's face it. we live in a world rampant with animal stereotypes. the average joe would be surprised to find out that dolphins hate to be thought of as cute and cuddly. dolphins usually tell me that just because one guy named flipper acted all human friendly on tv doesn't mean that all dolphins are that way. "flipper. the fuckin will smith of dolphins!" they bleep.

in actuality many dolphins are hard, often having grown up in rough ocean-hoods. some dolphins even kill baby dolphins and seals, just for fun. a lot of dolphins feel emasculated and hopeless in the face of such discrimination. "why aren't we called something cool like 'killer whales' huh? why do we have fag names like 'doll-fins'? so gay." said one disenfranchised ocean mammal named Sparky, working at sea-world.

i asked him why he worked at a place that served to reinforce the stereotypes created by humans. he only shrugged and said, "a phin has got to do what a phin has got to do. i got kids to feed." then he swam out and shot into the air, the smiling snout belying the unhappiness he felt inside, as he did what was necessary to appease his human sponsors.

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