deep throughts: fighting terrorism

in this age of terror i would fight fire with neither fire nor water; i would use something unexpected and random, like ritalin and staple removers. this would have the effect of making the terrorists fall into a super focused mood where they waste time obsessive-compulsively removing all the staples from their extremist literature pamphlets. of course, this could fail given the rise of disruptive technologies like staple-less pamphlets.

that said, there is some merit to the shock and awe approach. for example, i would pinpoint where the terrorists are hiding their jumbo jets then i would drop giant skyscrapers on top of them. imagine how demoralized they will be grappling with such irony before they are squashed: "good god, what is that falling from the sky above me? is that, an american high rise? jesus christ, is that bear stearns headquarters? i am so embarrassed. now i am dead." this strategy will probably cost less than iraq. if the budget allows we can fill the sky scrapers with subsidized pork, thus benefiting US pig farmers in the process.