career options

economy and work permission issues considered, there may need to be changes to my career plans. here are my initial search results:

1) patriarchitect:

• role requires at least one testicle. familiarity with female subjection as well as objectification a plus.
  

2) lead tester/ chinese toy licker:

• position requires tongue, currently working immune system. does not include medical benefits.
  

3) professional sadist:

• positions include the barbwire twist, the wheelbarrow, the lizard lock.

4) economist:

• role requires strong opinions about stuff, inability to get into math phd program.